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  • D. G. Martin

The Master Subscription List


A black check box with a red X marked in it.
If this actually happens, I'm signing up. Not even gonna try to resist.

Cable almost had it right.


One bill, all those beautiful channels. And it served us well, for a time.


Then the subscriptions started.


Netflix, Hulu, HBO, Starz, Prime, Loot Boxes, T-Shirt of the Month, Wine-in-bottles-in-a-Box, MEAT BOX, Veggie Box, Angry at Chicken Box...you get the idea. You've lived it. You have most of these subscriptions, or ones just like them, too.


Cable is headed out. It just can't give us all that stuff on one bill anymore. Even bundling with mobile phones and internet has not satiated our thirst for more subscriptions.


This is why I propose a new service, The Master Subscription List.


Not just for entertainment, but for everything. You subscribe to The Master Subscription List for a base fee, and you get a set number of services you can check the boxes of for that fee. And then the next tier of service up lets you check more boxes and so on.


Heck, they can even have a section of boxes, or even a whole class of service upgrades, where they donate to the charity or charities you've checked the boxes for. All under one roof! Now the righteous cloud of smug that comes from being a responsible social activist can be generated from the comfort of your living room. Welcome to making a difference, America.


Don't like a service? Uncheck it this month and select something else. Need to add something temporarily? Yeah, there's a box for that.


This is really simple, people. Feels like a Google form to me.


Logistical nightmare, no doubt about it. Like, total terror. Probably will quickly outpace Air Traffic Controller as the job that induces the most heart attacks. Crab fishing? Sign me up. Way less stress than running The Master Subscription List.


But hey, I'm just the idea guy.



D.G.

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