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  • D. G. Martin

How to Know if You're Shallow


An old fashioned announcer microphone with a soundwave in the background.
Tap...tap...tap...is thing on?

In the news a few days ago was one of the best things I've seen in years.


It's tough to find something out there these days that can, even for a moment, restore my faith in a humanity that sees each other as valuable, as people.


James Corden's response to Bill Maher (disgusting, wretched person that piece of filth is) saved me. I had almost forgotten how to laugh at people for their asinine and morbid stupidity. He kinda made me feel proud that I am part of a group of people that someone like Bill Maher hates.


How's that for motivation to stay fat? Bill Maher hates me. I don't want to give Bill Maher any reason to like me. So, I'll keep eating.


Hey, I am overweight. I can talk about this however I want to.


But you know, I got to thinking about it, and overweight people have an ability, a power you might say, that none of the skinnies... skinnyies... skinnyerier... un-overweight people have.


We know who is shallow and who is not.


That's right. We can tell, from the way you treat us, from the way you look at us, from the way you mention food or health and fitness, even from the way you act around us, which of you are shallow.


We know which of the rest of you are lesser people.


I mean, yeah, there's definitely less of you. Literally.


I've been on the receiving end of that joke for so much of my life that I'm shocked it never occurred to me to turn it around. Heh heh. Lesser people. That's funny.


So, if you are a non-overweight person, remember the next time you're around other people, no matter who it is, that an overweight person knows if you're a shallow human being, and what's more, we might have even told the non-shallow ones which ones of you are the shallow ones.


If you're not sure if you're one of the shallow ones or not, as an overweight person who know and trust enough to be honest with you. Just be prepared for the answer. It might not be what you're expecting.


D.G.

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